Christine M. Valentin, LCSW, LLC
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How Do I Know If I Need Help? 

11/21/2015

 
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One of the biggest hurdles many family caregivers face is reaching out for help. Between knowing what to ask, when to ask, and whom to ask - taking such action can be challenging. Whether due to uncertainty, reluctance or refusal, not reaching out for help can eventually cause caregiver burnout - the physical, mental or emotional exhaustion that impedes on the ability to provide the best care to a loved one.  So, the question becomes, how do you know if you are on the path to burning out and what can you do about it? First we'll start with warning signs: 

You Don't Get Sufficient Rest 
Caring for another individual, especially a parent, can lead to endless nights of thinking, "What's going to happen to Dad?" or "How am I going to manage caring for my parent as well as work and care for my family?" Such thoughts are common for caregivers to experience throughout the day but for some, they will also experience it when they are finally resting or trying to sleep. This worrying often prevents caregivers from getting the rest they need thereby becoming more exhausted and more overwhelmed. 

You Don't Have a Reliable Support Network
Not receiving help from your significant other, siblings, or other relatives could also lead to caregiver burnout. An unreliable support network, not to be confused with your family/friends not fully understanding your caregiving role, can sometimes cause more stress. Whether attributable to family dynamics or past conflicts, lack of support can lead to burnout if not recognized early enough and addressed. 
 
Lack of Support at Work
Caring for a loved one while working can also cause significant stress, especially if your loved one needs constant supervision and/or attention. While it is normal to take a day off from work to tend to childcare needs, some caregivers shy away from taking off when caring for their parents for various reasons. This juggling act between the work and caregiving can be an extremely exhausting and stressful experience, especially if both responsibilities are demanding. 

If any of these signs sound familiar, then you should be reaching out for help. Here are some ways you can do so: 

Learn About Available Resources
Learn as much as you can about your loved one's medical condition, associated behavioral symptoms, and available community resources. Resources like support groups, respite care and other senior or caregiver-related services can help give you a break by alleviating some of your responsibilities. Being familiar with certain entitlements like the the Family Medical Leave Act can also help alleviate the pressure of  juggling work and caring for your loved one. 

Ask Friends and Family for Help
Never underestimate how helpful it can be to delegate minuscule tasks to friends, family members or neighbors. From picking up essentials like milk and bread, to driving your loved one to appointments these tasks often prevent caregivers from being able to relax and recuperate. By asking someone else to help you with your daily errands, however, it can reduce how much running around you have to do and give you a chance to "recharge."

Consult with a Geriatric Professional 
In many cases, family caregivers try the above and get the break they need but also have a hard time dealing with the stress of knowing their parent(s) are aging or their loved one's health is declining. Sometimes, the only way to address such stress is by contacting a geriatric professional for counseling. And while it may be difficult to pick up the phone and admit you need help, the truth is that by taking such action you can receive help to reduce any anxiety, loneliness, or hopelessness you may feel. 

Do you have any questions or thoughts you would  like to share? Please do so below. 

Bonnie Pacuta
8/9/2012 04:01:44 pm

As a Geratric Social Worker, this information is excellent. Thank you for reaching out to family caregivers. We have to educate people on the importance of reaching out before their own health fails from the stress

Christine M. Valentin link
8/9/2012 04:20:38 pm

Hi Bonnie,
Thank you for the compliment about the article. I agree that we have to educate people, especially family caregivers, about the importance of caring for themselves in addition to their loved one. Thanks for your comment.

Melody Parshall
8/12/2012 05:37:52 am

Great information! In the years I worked at a retirement facility, I noticed a reoccurring pattern of one spouse caring for another with cognitive decline. The spouse who acted as the caregiver was always the one who died first. The caregiver was always tired and stressed and we know the toll that can take on someone. When my mother had Alzheimer's I was fortunate to share care with 5 siblings. I feel caregiver burden is a real problem and I am glad you are addressing it. Thanks!

Christine M. Valentin link
8/12/2012 01:07:58 pm

Hi Melody,
Thank you for sharing both your work and personal experience with caregiving. I, too, have learned about the toll caregiving can have on the primary caregiver. This post was created with the purpose of getting the primary caregiver to recognize some of the common signs of burnout. Hopefully it will work! Thank you again for contributing.

Jack Halpern link
8/12/2012 07:36:07 am

Very informative post. Unfortunately many people don't see signs early enough, leading to a crisis. Would you be interested in exchanging posts?

Warm wishes,

Jack
CEO, My Elder Advocate

Jack

Christine M. Valentin link
8/12/2012 01:09:50 pm

Hi Jack,

Thank you for commenting on the post. I agree most people aren't aware of the signs and don't know how to recognize them or what to do about it. Feel free to reach out to me about my posts.


Comments are closed.

    Christine M. Valentin 

    As a licensed clinical social worker, I help individuals caring for a loved one reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.  This blog is meant to share with you, many of the suggestions I recommend to many family caregivers. Sign up to receive them directly.

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The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by individuals in search of general information of interest pertaining to caregiving, stress and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
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