Christine M. Valentin, LCSW, LLC
  • Home
  • About
  • Specialities, Fees & Hours
  • Video Counseling
  • Contact Me
  • Privacy Practices

How Do I Best Care for My Parent & Partner?

5/6/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
For some family caregivers, finding themselves in the crossroads of caring for a parent and a partner can exacerbate the caregiving experience to a level that many others are unable to comprehend. Aside from learning how to manage and cope with a parent's illness, having to deal with a partner's health concerns can cause a caregiver to feel even more isolated, depressed, anxious, etc., especially if their partner is the person they regularly turned to for emotional support and comfort. Managing, coping and maintaining are all ideas that can seem so foreign during this period but learning new strategies and continuing to utilize strategies that have worked is crucial. Below are a few strategies that often proved beneficial to family caregivers I've worked with...

1) Prioritize - part of being able to get through this difficult time is being able to identify what needs to come first, what can come second and what can be delegated to someone else. Without doing so, a caregiver's world can suddenly seem as if it is crashing down all at the same time. Begin by identifying which days of the week are critical for you to be with your parent vs. your partner, and identifying which tasks need to be handled by you vs. handled by other individuals. Doing so can help maximize the quality time you have with your loved ones as opposed to spending it doing things that impede on that time (i.e. going to the pharmacy, grocery store, etc.)

2) Recognize Your Limitations - It is okay if you can't do it all because chances are, you can't! Asking for help, taking a break and accepting the fact that you are not a superhero are some of the challenges many family caregivers struggle with. This is generally the case when family and/or societal pressures are causing them to feel otherwise. After identifying some of the responsibilities you have, which you would love for someone else to do, the next step is to identify any individuals and resources that can help with those tasks and ask them. While it may at first seem like there is nothing/no one that can help, don't be so quick to say, I have no one. While you may have no one in your immediate family/social circle, don't discount the help you may be able to receive from your neighbors, local religious organizations and community agencies.  Many family caregivers I've worked with are often surprised at how much is actually out there and in many cases often find out about the services after the fact. 

3) Eat Well, Sleep Well and Cherish the Little Moments - There is a lot to be said about the power of good sleep, healthy eating and being appreciative. The amount of energy you exert in any given day to care for someone else is energy that has to be restored. Without tapping in to regenerating sources like sleep, nutrition and positivity, you are losing energy and will end up running on low. Thus, ultimately impacting how much you can physically and emotionally give to caring for your loved ones. While there are many techniques that can be utilized to enhance sleeping and eating habits, the first step is to acknowledge their importance and be proactive about incorporating it in to your routine. The same holds true for appreciating the positive things in your life, no matter how small. 


Are you caring for a parent and a partner? How are you managing? Please share any insight or questions you have below. I welcome your questions. 

2 Comments
Paul Turner link
5/8/2014 03:29:05 am

While I am not caring for a loved one AND a partner at the same time, I've been made aware of situations where this sort of thing must happen to individuals. I would say that this is the kind of issue that ANYONE should review, so as to be better prepared if/when the time comes for them to deal with the situation. You mention community agencies-as a Board member of my town's Senior Center, I think it is so great that there is help available at both state&local and federal levels. Because of the work they do, they can help us prioritize(your first point)all that needs to be done in the care of our family member and/or partner. This makes it easier for us to take better care of ourselves, so we can take better care of who we love.

Reply
Christine M. Valentin link
5/8/2014 03:49:45 am

Hi Paul,

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'm glad you are able to acknowledge the assistance that is available on many levels. I often come across family caregivers who hear about how other people don't qualify for x, y and z services so they automatically think they will not qualify. My advice, inquire anyway since your situation can be completely different than the person you spoke to. Thanks again for commenting.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Christine M. Valentin 

    As a licensed clinical social worker, I help individuals caring for a loved one reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.  This blog is meant to share with you, many of the suggestions I recommend to many family caregivers. Sign up to receive them directly.

    Sign up to directly receive my latest blog posts!

    * required

    *

    *

    *




    Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

    Archives

    July 2020
    January 2020
    September 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    December 2011

    RSS Feed

The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by individuals in search of general information of interest pertaining to caregiving, stress and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
Photos used under Creative Commons from TANAKA Juuyoh (田中十洋), Muffet, mayeesherr. (away), saturn ♄, lisabirtch, CalgarySandy, Geoff Penaluna, Réno, Lida Rose, photogirl7.1, Brainedge, leechantmcarthur, A Gude, blumenbiene, NaturEscapes Photography, nicoleacosta, taubuch, photogirl7.1, nicoleacosta, Jocey K, stefanweihs
  • Home
  • About
  • Specialities, Fees & Hours
  • Video Counseling
  • Contact Me
  • Privacy Practices