Christine M. Valentin, LCSW, LLC
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Am I a Family Caregiver? 

9/16/2014

5 Comments

 
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Are you concerned about an older adult, spouse or significant other? 

Are your days filled with scheduling doctor appointments, helping your loved one pay his/her bills, going to the pharmacy to pick up medication(s), managing household chores they were once able to manage.? 


How about visiting or calling your loved one more than usual just to ensure they are doing okay? 

If you answered yes to any of the above, then you are a Family Caregiver and you are not alone. Family caregivers are all around us. They are most likely your neighbor, boss, child's school teacher, your doctor and even the person sitting next to you at your local coffee shop or while riding public transportation. 

With as many as 65.7 million caregivers providing care to an ill, disabled or aged individual,* the sad reality is that it is rarely discussed, thus not recognized by each of us as much as it should be. 

Another sad reality is that many people do not identify him/herself as a family caregiver. Why? Because some individuals view the care they provide as what any other daughter, son, wife or husband would do, i.e.  fulfilling their familial duties. By not identifying as a family caregiver, however, many individuals are hindering the chance to learn about programs and services that are available specifically for family caregivers. Programs like educational workshops, local support groups, and services like home care and transportation are just a few of the resources family caregivers can tap into to help ease the stress that often accompanies caring for a loved one.   


So, what should you do if you do find yourself caring for a loved one? First, accept your role as a family caregiver and begin identifying yourself and one not feeling any shame in doing so. Yes, it is a term/label many of us would not like to utilize but it is one that can open the door to many resources. 

What do you think about identifying as a family caregiver? Please share your thoughts below including how the term, if applicable, has helped your caregiving journey. 

* According to The National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP (2009), Caregiving in the U.S. National Alliance for Caregiving. Washington, DC.] - Updated: November 2012

5 Comments
Shyvonne link
9/23/2014 05:15:40 am

Thanks for your thoughtful post and link to resources.

Reply
Christine M. Valentin link
9/23/2014 07:06:25 am

Hi Shyvonne,

You are very welcome. I hope you find them helpful for yourself and/or someone you know.

Reply
Diane link
9/24/2014 05:12:53 am

What an important topic! Many older adults refuse assistance, especially having a home health care provide services. "I want to remain independent" is the biggest reason they give. Because the family caregiver doesn't identify as one, the senior doesn't realize that they are very dependent - on the family member. Having help actually can make them more independent by not having to continually ask others for help.

Eric Pulsifer link
11/24/2014 02:04:39 pm

Definitely, family caregiver. Living in a small apartment on my parents's property. Duties include cooking, cleanup, yard work, driving, bill paying, mobility assistance, fighting with doctors, scaring off scam artists, you name it.

Thinking about what Diane said, I'm fortunate here. Dad (and Mom when she was alive) knew they needed caregiving. They told me it was either that or assisted living, not a real attractive option to them.

Basically I came in with no training and had to hit the ground running. I'm pretty upfront about identifying myself as caregiver, mostly for any classes and/or groups that might help me learn what I need to know.

Reply
Christine M. Valentin link
11/25/2014 12:52:35 am

Hi Eric,

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I'm happy to hear your parents were upfront with having that discussion with you regarding their care in the long run. One problem I often find among clients I work with is a hesitation by the parents to discuss end of life care due to a variety a reasons. Although it can be "morbid" to discuss, it is a discussion that can shed tons of light on expectations and wishes. Thanks again!

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    Christine M. Valentin 

    As a licensed clinical social worker, I help individuals caring for a loved one reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.  This blog is meant to share with you, many of the suggestions I recommend to many family caregivers. Sign up to receive them directly.

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The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by individuals in search of general information of interest pertaining to caregiving, stress and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
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