 Being a family caregiver can cause complications in many different areas of a caregiver's life. One area that is often not discussed - a caregiver's love life. For many, caring for a relative can place a significant strain on his/her relationship. Whether single, married, divorced, or widowed, trying to juggle the responsibilities of caregiving with an intimate relationship can be challenging. Below are suggestions on how married and single caregivers can enhance a current relationship.
Caregivers Who Are Married Discuss Expectations - Be upfront about what each one of you expects from the other. Doing so prevent misunderstanding based on assumptions. It can also go a long way in reducing potential arguments. Explain Your Concerns - Talk about your worries and hesitations regarding your caregiving role and your relationship. By "laying it out on the table" both of you can gain a better sense of what each one is concerned about and hopefully have a better idea of how to support each other throughout this difficult journey. Reminisce and Envision - Think back to when you first met and remind yourselves why are your married. Doing so may help reignited your passion and remind you about the bigger picture. Envisioning the bigger picture can serve as a motivating factor to get through the hard times together. Caregivers Who Are Dating Be Honest About Your Role - Describing what your day-to-day routine looks like to a potential partner can help set the stage for a relationship that is flexible and understanding. Clearing up expectations can also help minimize arguments that can arise should you need to cancel plans or cannot commit to something in advance because of your caregiving role. Schedule "Date" Time - If at all possible, consider setting a day, evening or weekend when you can spend alone time with your companion. Having other relatives, friends or neighbors "check-in" on your loved one, spend an afternoon with him/her, etc., can give you some time to get away and focus on your relationship. This can also be beneficial for married cargivers. Know Your Limitations If being in a "full-time" relationship is not possible, it doesn't mean you can't mingle and socialize with other individuals. A social life is just as important as your caregiving role. It's just one of the many things needed in order to take care of yourself. There is no question that we can all benefit from being in a loving, caring, supporting relationship with a companion that can fulfill our emotional, spiritual and physical needs. While being a family caregiver, especially a primary one, can detract from the time and energy one has to give to a partner, it is vital to understand the benefit that connecting with a companion can have your well-being. Has your relationship been impacted by your caregiving responsibility? What, if anything, have you done to try to keep it afloat?
8 Comments
josie
2/8/2013 03:26:11 am
I believe, my role is multifaceted one. From family of origin, my Hispanic and Native American roots, love for self, in relation to family, helped me to develop who I am today. It helps keep me focused, with expanding my spirituality, family and friendships, closer and positive. So if you stay strong and positive, this will transcend, into your love relationships, as well! 2/8/2013 03:57:46 am
Hi Josie,
Susan
2/10/2013 12:56:08 am
I am in the midst of this right now. I live and care for my 84 year old mother who is a double leg amputee. I work full time and I am in grad school for counseling. So with all of that going on it has been a struggle maintaining my relationsip with my boyfriend of 7 years. But the key to all of it is communication and asking for help when needed. You need to create a support group around you that can help with both the physical asspects of being a caregive but the emotional ones as well. I am very lucky to have family members that rotate weekends so I have time for myself and I have a wonderful emotional support team at my church. The one thing I would stress the most is you must take care of yourself - physcially, emotionally, and spirtually before you care for others or you will burnout. 2/11/2013 02:05:50 am
Hi Susan,
Katrina
2/12/2013 02:57:55 pm
I found being a Caregiver is one of the most stressful, extremley stressful at times. I'm a single caregiver and single mother. Trying to work and start a business and go to school for Nursing. Not to mention take care of my ten year old, making sure everyone needs are met. I working hard to put these things in order at the same time try to maintain realtionship with child father, which is not an easy task. Sometimes I think he understands at times.then at times I feel I'm doing it all alone. I know my mother needs me, I really can't see doing anything eles. I have also grown in areas of my life by being a caregiver and single mother. It has made me stronger. I realize that I have to also be my own person so now I working on areas in my own personal life that will allow me to be happy spirtual, mental, and financial so being a Caregiver is not only what I do or who I am. Exploring other sides of me that I know is there trying to excel in them all. I'm learning to Network social and professional and loving me more so I'm able to be there for those I love and most of all be happy to be there for them. I hope that special someone would appreciate me if not I'm going to wait for god to send the right one. 2/13/2013 04:47:07 am
Hi Katrina,
Tina Pierce
4/1/2013 02:13:18 am
I've been a single mother to an awesome young lady for 21 yrs now, during which time I put my own love life on hold. I've been seeing a wonderful man for nearly two years and moved in with him last October and we are both enjoying our budding relationship and very in love. Unfortunately, his Father (widower) lives nearly two hours south and my Mother (widow) lives five hours east of our home. Neither are in very good health right now and it is a challenge on both of us and our families to visit and provide needed support to our parents. We do the best we can but things can get very hectic with each of us having grown daughters - mine her 3rd year in college and his about to get married this month. Keeping our sanity AND keeping our relationship strong is challenging at times though we are managing to be committed first to each other, secondly to our other responsibilities. Respite time is critical to us as we tend to be on the road a great deal lately. We are definately a part of the "sandwich" generation - being pulled by responsibilities of parents and kids - at a point when our relationship to each other would ideally be the focus. 4/1/2013 10:22:10 am
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Christine M. ValentinAs a licensed clinical social worker, I help individuals caring for a loved one reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and stress. This blog is meant to share with you, many of the suggestions I recommend to many family caregivers. Sign up to receive them directly. Archives
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